Monday, July 30, 2012

“It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.”
― Mark Twain

One thing about my family. We are stubborn. When we get our minds set on something, rarely do we change our minds. I've noticed the same thing about Abby. She has that same Skinner stubborness that we were all blessed with.

I've heard more about what happened at Cathy's house. Apparently, Abby and Cathy had had a bit of a heated discussion over living arrangements for my nephew Ryan, who Abby, of course, did not want to be left stranded. You see, Ryan came to stay with my sister Cathy's son Joey and his girlfriend. As those things sometimes go, once the honeymoon is over, after the fun stops, trouble usually comes along. That's what happened with them.

Then, of course, my two sisters discussed the situation and did not see eye-to-eye. Abby like the mother bear that she is came to Ryan's aid. Cathy felt offended, since it was her home. The next thing you know, Abby said she was leaving. I guess the honeymoon for them too, was over.

Abby felt Cathy should come to her, Cathy felt like Abby should come to her...and well...what happened was that Abby left Cathy's and it wasn't on good terms.

They have spoken a couple of times, but not much lately. 

On the other hand, we have my sister Connie, another stubborn sister, indeed. She met Abby for those three days. She judged Abby the first days that she met Abby. She said that Abby was stuck-up and snobby and acted too good for our family. She never gave her a chance after that. She's ignored Abby's calls every since.

It's a shame that Abby wasn't given a bit more of a chance in the beginning. All that she wanted was her family. Instead what she got was a bunch of stubborn people who weren't willing to give her the chance to get past her initial meetings.

Abby is a traumatized person. She may be a stubborn as the rest of us, but she needs more of a chance. She has gone through more than any of us have gone through. We owe that to Abby.

One person who is giving Abby that chance is my sister Kelly. My sister Kelly has opened her home and her life to Abby and her husband Guy. 

Just as before, once that honeymoon phase wore off, trouble began with them. Kelly and Abby are at odds most of the time. Abby moved across the street from Kelly. They keep trying to be friends but they are so much alike that they can't seem to get along.

Kelly doesn't understand Abby and Abby doesn't understand Kelly.

That's not because Abby is the only one that has been damaged by life. As I've said in previous posts, we have all seen our share of trauma in our lives. 

Is bringing together two damaged people ever going to work? Will counseling be the answer? Will all of our strong-willed siblings ever be able to get along?

I think that the important part is for none of us to give up on Abby as we have given up on each other so many times. We need to be as strong for each other as we are against each other. 

If we all put as much energy making sure we get along as we do fighting, we might just find our fences mended.

With that said, I still do not talk to two of my sisters, but I pray every day that God touches our family in a way that we will one day reunite and put our troubles behind us.

And there is still the matter of finding baby #1.

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